"Where's Lambie?"

It finally happened today. Ana lost her Lambie. I am heartbroken.

We went to a little Country Fair held in our little village of Port Moody. Nestled in between a grocery store, condos, a restaurant, Starbucks and a few shops & services were pony rides, a magician, several bouncy castles, games, food, balloons, a roping contest and a live country band. Oh, and lots of people!

We had a nice little time. Owen and Ana went on their first live pony rides and loved it, much to my delight. Ana clung to me for dear life on the first few steps the pony took but then realized that this was actually fun and the look on her face was priceless. So was Owen's smiling face. We had some hamburgers and hotdogs shortly after - free by donation, so we emptied out our pockets and purse for spare change. Owen had his first can of orange soda and enjoyed that. Lines were long and Owen wanted to jump in the bouncy castle so Ana and I separated from Chris and Owen to walk around and take in the sights. 

Somewhere in the last 15 minutes that we were there and along the walk towards our parked car, Ana lost Lambie. Shortly before reconnecting with Chris and Owen at the bouncy castle prior to leaving, I returned Lambie to Ana after cleaning her up following a messy treat. I did not realize what was missing until after we got home. I was so upset and had this horrible sinking feeling that Lambie was lost forever. Losing it in a store on a normal day (as has happened before) is one thing but losing it in a crowded fair is another. I did what any sane but irrational and emotionally attached, loving mom would do. I got back in the car and retraced my steps. Parking was a nightmare and even though I didn't have the miracle I was hoping for, at least I can say I tried. I cried on the way home.

Losing Lambie is beside the point. I knew there was a chance this might happen. She'd have outgrown him eventually. But, Ana loved her Lambie and has since she was a little baby. Her attachment to Lambie was so endearing to me that it was one of those objects, like the blanket she came home from the hospital in or her first pair of shoes, that I wanted to keep and pass onto her when she was older. 

The day is long over and Ana has asked for Lambie a few times. "Where's Lambie? Mommy, where's Lambie?" is what came out of her, once shrugging her little shoulders and raising her hands, palms up. It hasn't been as bad as I anticipated. I thought bedtime would be a nightmare and put off the inevitable as much as I could. We didn't skirt the issue and told Ana right away that Lambie was missing. Before naptime, I pulled out the two stand-bys... a pink bunny and a different lamb version, both similar to Lambie and told Ana they were Lambie's friends here to keep her company. I originally bought those as a replacement for her beloved a long time ago but her preference was always strongly for Lambie. The other two just sat elsewhere and collected dust. Until now. She seemed willing to accept the idea of Lambie's friends and towards the end of the day, leaned more to Bunnie and as I write this, that's who she's sleeping with. 

I will miss my morning ritual with Ana and Lambie. After she wakes up, I give her a hug and a kiss. Then she would hand Lambie over to me and I'd give him a hug and a kiss too and that would bring on her first smile of the day. I loved that. I hope she continues to give me that smile in the mornings without Lambie.