To Owen With Love from Mom

My dearest baby boy...

You are, without a doubt, one of the BEST things to ever happen to me! Your dad, being one of them, because without him, you wouldn't have been possible. I've always wanted to be a mom... even as a little girl getting the love I got from my own mother, I wanted to be able to give that too. I grew up knowing the love I have for my own mother, but I never knew about the love my mother had for me until I had you. I never dreamed it would be so profound. I now know that one of the greatest gifts I could give my own mom was to have a child of my own and walk in her steps.

How lucky I am... to have you. You are so incredibly beautiful and so miraculous. Amazing and full of unexpected surprises. You are... my wish upon a star. Whenever I look up at the night sky lit up with too-many-to-count stars, I remember the Christmas Eve night in Vermont when I looked up and saw a shooting star. I made a wish then and that wish was for your Daddy and I to be blessed with a child. Sure enough, a month and a half later, I found out I was pregnant with you. This is one of my favorite true stories to tell... the other being how your Daddy and I met.

It's been a year since you were born. I cannot believe how quickly the first year of your baby's life passes by. On one hand, I am so sad that it went by so fast. I worry that maybe I didn't take enough photos, that I don't remember every detail, or maybe I should've done something different than what I did in raising you from then till now. I know I didn't take enough photos because you can never take too many. I know I don't remember every detail because sleep deprivation contributes to memory loss as does time just flying by. And there's always something I could be doing differently, but knowing what I'm doing out of love... I hope that is enough to raise you to be the person I believe you cabable of being. On the other hand, I am so happy and so excited to see you grow up and reach those milestones coming up... when you're finally able to walk on your own, your first bike, the first day of school, your first love, graduation, your first job, and even marriage and kids if that's what you want. I want to grow old just knowing that you're happy and healthy because then, I'll know I've lived my life to it's fullest. I hope I don't disappoint you.

And then things you don't want your child to experience, but it's necessary to do so in order to grow, will happen. You might get hurt, you will come down with colds and fevers and though I hope to God it never happens, you might get sick with something worse than that. You might fail a test or several. You might get your heart broken. You might lose someone or something close to you. You'll definitely experience peer pressure. Anything can happen and don't ever take it for granted that it won't happen to you. I promise you that I will be here for you as long as I'm alive to guide you, give you help, comfort and solace and to my best ability, advice if you ask for it.

Owen, I write this because when you're old enough to understand this, I want you to have something that's a constant reminder of just how much you mean to me. An impossible feat to describe in words because there are none to adequately describe the love I have for you. There is also no way to describe the amount of love I have for you because quantifying it goes beyond what is countable. To put it simply, I love you with all my heart and more. In bad times and good, don't ever forget or doubt that.

Love,
Mommy